A big strong gorilla stood upstage
While the crowd of ladies downtown
Gazed through the bars of his small cage
Without pausing to look around
With no shame they all nudged each other
And craned their necks for a better view
Of a feature my dear old mother
Would forbid me to name for you
There's a gorilla!

All at once the door of the prison
That the animal had called home
Swung wide for no obvious reason
And the young beast was free to roam
Teh ape quit his posing and preening
And he cried out, "Today's the day!"
I bet you all can guess his meaning
Before I even have to say
There's a gorilla!

The zookeeper wailed, "What a bungle!"
And his consternation was great
For his mighty prince of the jungle
Had never known even one mate
When those of the female persuasion
Discovered the monkey was hot
They postponed their investigations
And just all took off like a shot
There's a gorilla!

While moments before these same females
Had ogled him boldly enough
The ape forced tehir hand and they turned tail
Their big talk had just been all bluff
Their missed chance seems even sillier
Since the gorilla I've heard say
Is better at getting familiar
Than a man is any old day
There's a gorilla!

Everyone went running for cover
Out of range of the prowling ape
Except a decrepit grandmother
And a young judge who stood and gaped
While everyone else sought protection
In his rolling, shambling gait
The ape sped off in the direction of grandma
And the magistrate
There's a gorilla!

"Oh, well," sighed the centenarian,
"The idea that it would want me
Strikes me as extraordinary an'
The kind of luck I never see."
The judge in his robe saw him coming
But he through, though not too hard or long,
"He'd never take me for a woman,"
But what followed would prove him wrong
There's a gorilla!

Now suppose one of you just might be
Like the monkey forced to choose
Between a judge or an old lady,
Which one would you take of the two?
Left with no other tale to tell you,
You cna believe me, girsl and boys,
It's no trouble for me to sell you
On the old gal as my first choice
There's a gorilla!

It may be true that as a lover
The gorilla puts us to shame
But it's some comfort to discover
That on brains he can lay no claim
The old lady smiled and showed no fear
But he foolishly let her be
And grabbing that fool judge by both ears
He dragged him off behind a tree
There's a gorilla!

The rest I leave to your assumptions
For sadly not even the half
Would be fit for public consumption
But it could give us all a laugh
For the judge all dignity scorning
Shouted "Mommy!" and cried like heck
Like the man who that very morning
He'd blithely had hanged by the neck
There's a gorilla!